I finished Dragon Age: Origins again this afternoon. And as Jenny stood bathed in dying-archdemon-explosion-light, her sword sunk deep behind the archdemon's skull, I thought, we won.
It's hard to explain how good that felt. This is the second time I've beaten the game. But even though I've won before, it never felt like winning. Winning was the most terrible thing I'd ever felt in a game. I watched the end game, went through the motions of conversations, and sent Jenny out into the world again, and the whole time I kept repeating Alistair over and over, in my head.
For the first time, it felt like I had actually won. I could see the relief on the faces of the men in the battle below, and not hate them for being alive.
After the speeches, when Jenny and Alistair have a moment to talk quietly, Alistair says that it's amazing to still be alive, and that Jenny is still alive, and how wonderful that is. And I think, you have no idea.
Because I've seen that ending, the one he'd feared. I know what it feels like to stand in that room alone. I saw him die, and then I went on in a world where he was dead, and I don't want that world to happen again. Here Jenny is, talking to Alistair, and making jokes about serving the crown, and I think, this, THIS is what I wanted. This is what I was playing for.
I think, Thank you, Morrigan. For giving Jenny this. That moment in the throne room, and every moment after that in a world where Jenny and Alistair can be together is a gift.
Dragon Age gives me all the feels.