Cassidy & I, we have Issues. Sometimes they meet at a tangent, sometimes they miss each other completely. But this weekend, his issue hit my issue, and it went fractal. My issues were turtles, and they went all the way down. I fell apart, and we worked and worked and put me back together, and then I fell apart again. Over and over. It felt as if the fears I have always fought, the fears I told myself weren't rational, they were real. As if all my insecurities suddenly said, "I told you so!"
It hurt. And I reacted badly. I don't know if I'm actually recovered. I don't know if we are. I am afraid we can't. Whenever I close my eyes, he is walking out.