Saturday, June 23, 2012

First photo, second thoughts

First photo:

Second thoughts:

I have been getting a nagging, not-good feeling about the latest boy.  Not an "unsafe, stay away" vibe, but a "too controlling," "wants too serious, too soon," kind of vibe.  He wants to plan, like, seriously, plan, a "first date."  And I'm thinking that even the term "first date" is a little presumptuous.  He likes how, in a semi-long distance relationship (two hours and a bit away), it makes time spent together more important.  I'm thinking about how that's what I don't like about it.  I think that's a bad way to start things.

And part of me thinks that I'm just sabotaging myself.  Part of me thinks that, between my low self-image and the scarcity of dates, I think that anyone pursuing me is creepy because they're pursuing me.  Part of me thinks I'm making too much meaning out of too little data.  Part of me thinks I should give him a chance.  But part of me doesn't care.

I've done controlling.  I don't want anything to do with it.  I'd rather err on the side of wishy washy, spineless, and timid, than date someone who will try to control me again.

So, I don't know.  I don't know what I'll say.  I don't know if I'll send him the photo of the tattoo that I said I would. 

ETA: Sent text. Am breaking things off. It's strange, breaking things off with someone I don't actually have a relationship with.  Hopefully, it's done.

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