When it rains, it sings Hallelujah

You know how bad things tend to pile up, and a spilled coffee turns into three shitty days?  This is the opposite of that.

It's funny, because I remember this from the last time.  I started losing weight, and it was like I had some sort of magic shield of happiness.  I was making work that I loved, and I was getting rave critiques, and I felt like I could do anything.

For the last few years, I've meant to learn the lead part in swing.  Because 1) it's considered standard for advanced dancers, 2) I could dance with girls, and 3) if I knew both parts, I wouldn't have to feel dependent on someone else knowing a particular part.  And every time I make it through one lesson, maybe two.  But leading is hard.  And I am impatient.  I have to fight my instincts.  And I don't want to lead when it's bad and boring.  I'd much rather follow well and with flair.  So I always give in and switch back to follow.  This year I made a decision to stick with it.  Even when the leads outnumber the follows in class, and everyone looks at me, because I could fix that, I stick with it.  It's hard, and I'm impatient, and my instincts are wrong.  But last night, for the first time, I felt it.  I was actually dancing, and not just doing the steps.  It was amazing.

This was after I saved the photo program a 4-week, $600 scanner repair.

And I know that some of this new-found largess is because mood affects performance.  And some of it is because brains like finding patterns.  And I don't really care.  Hallelujah.