Friday, August 9, 2013

It Breaks My Digital Heart


See, I started the game sort of assuming that I would end up with Anders because of leftover affection from Awakenings, or Isabela, because sexy pirate lady is sexy.  I'm still a little annoyed at Alistair for convincing Jenny--all of them, really--to go all hetero and stuff.

But I also knew that choosing romance options with one character doesn't necessarily prevent romancing another, up until it comes down to the moving in part.  And I like flirting.  I mean, if my digital avatar is going to be universally attractive I might as well enjoy it, right?  And maybe I would end up changing my mind on which one I'd want to be Jenny's primary partner, so might as well keep my options open.

So I flirted with Merrill.  And now I feel like a total asshole, because, unlike everyone else so far, Merrill actually does something about it.  And then she's standing in the foyer saying I'm not like you, I wish I were.  You're beautiful and clever and never make the wrong decision, and I'm just dreaming to think that you would ever...  And it fucking breaks my heart to hear because she hero worships Jenny and it's all wrong.  She should be with someone who makes her feel good about herself, not like a shabby, lesser version of what she wants to be.

And all there is to say is You're not dreaming, or You're like a sister to me.  And if I pick the first then Merrill ends up in a lousy one-sided relationship, and if I pick the latter then she says something false and bright and runs away and I feel really guilty about it.

And now I'm worried about Fenris, if I'm already too late to avoid hurting him, when the reason I'm not picking him is to avoid hurting him.  I don't think he's going to be able to accept Jenny's decisions, and I don't want to break up with him that way.  And I REALLY don't want to sleep with him and then not take it seriously, because he's spent his whole life with his body being used, in various ways, for the whims of mages, and I think it might break him to believe that Jenny is different and be proven wrong.

And all this is after a curt reminder from Aveline that effective game decisions are often heartless decisions, and I'm really not a big fan of Jenny right now.

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