I'm going to be maudlin. I'm going to be embarrassed by this in the morning.
I was having so much fun, flitting around, that I forgot the real reason I'd chosen Fun over Real in the first place. It's not really because I'm moving. I've been saying even if I found Real, what would I do with it, I'm leaving, but that's not entirely true.
The truth is, I think if I found Real, I'd still just use it for how it makes me feel, and the only important thing would continue to be me. I don't know if I can change, and I don't think I can offer anything Real until I do.