Feeling sorry for myself

Yeah, sorry. This is the kind of thing that embarrasses me to make public. I hate feeling sorry for myself. It's my birthday tomorrow, and I didn't say anything really, not to anyone. I felt like this one should be special, a big deal, a big party, something more than a couple people at Deadwood. Except I'm not the kind of person who throws big parties; I don't know how. I don't really know enough people. So rather than try and fail, I decided to not care. Or at least pretend to not care.