Thursday, May 16, 2013

Assignment 1 Redux: WiP

Work versions, but so far I am feeling much better about this.  I think the concept is a little contrived, but the images themselves are actually working well enough to redeem it.  I like the way they do and don't match. 

I find myself embarrassed by this project.  Not because I'm making things that aren't "good enough," but because I need the assignment to make them.  It feels like an admission of guilt, or failure, that I need help doing what should be natural.  I am an artist.  I have a degree!  I am surrounded by both creators and the evidence of creation, by people who are here because they cannot help themselves, because they have thumbed their noses at the odds and the naysayers to make art.   And here I am, going back to the beginning, trying to give myself reasons and excuses, trying to do something, anything, and it's embarrassing.

When I tell people about the excavation project, the going back and printing old work and looking for new connections, the trying to escape my inner critique, they understand that.  But this treating of myself like one of their students, this is different.  We are better than our students, right?  That's why we get to teach.

Logically, I know better.  I know that there is no shame in needing help.  I know that there is no perk I can buy with enough XP that will make me immune from creator's block.  But.

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