Now that I finally HAVE my drugs, I have started taking them again, as of this morning.
I remember that, in the past, when I have started my meds after a significant time away, I acquire a temporary anxiety disorder. The only-sleeping-five-hours-a-night and filled-with-panic-and-a-sense-of-impending-doom kind. The I-don't-know-what-I'm-afraid-of-but-I'm-sure-it's-happening-oh-shit kind. I've never had an anxiety disorder, so I don't know if how I feel is similar, but anxiety is the best word I can think of to describe my starting-meds state. Luckily, it isn't too extreme, and it doesn't last more than a few days at most. And it only happens when I can't manage to be a grownup and get my refills on time.
So now that I am starting my meds again, I wonder, am I going to get anxious? Am I anxious now? I just had a feeling of worry! Maybe it's the anxiety!
I am anxious that I might be becoming anxious.
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