Sunday, September 1, 2013

Two Weeks Left

I am thinking about the significance of the first person in writing, of the personal, the confessional, the ways that Silvia Plath and Anne Sexton are framed in the cultural narrative, the jealousy I feel towards Michelle Tea, the beauty of worms on the sidewalk after it rains.  I'm thinking about games as Art, about that damn question that gets asked over and over again.  Is it Art?  Can it be Art?  I'm thinking about the intersection between miniature dioramas, like dollhouses and terreria and train sets, and life sized dioramas, like natural history museums.  How are they related?  How are they different?  How do we interact with them, and why, and what does it all mean?  I'm thinking, always, about Dragon Age.  I am watching myself play, and now I am watching myself watching myself play.  Meta is my superpower.  I am stressed about work and life.  I haven't paid any of my bills for August yet, except rent which goes automatically, thank god.  I found this illustration of Anders, which is the very best fan art ever.

Sirinne at Deviant Art

I am thinking about the Iowa State Fair and how it felt to go, for the first time, with only my iphone for a camera.  I am thinking about how strange it is to be part of a vanishing category, the single person, how any gathering of friends will contain very few single people.  The strange part is how this was foretold to me in Bridget Jones' Diary.  Briget was 33 years old, too.  And, like Bridget, I am thinking about being fat.  How I hate being the fat person who eats more than everyone else, but if I don't then I'm the fat person who is ashamed and dieting, which isn't any better.  There is no unmarked way for a fat person to eat.  I am thinking about Merrill, who I have written about, but only in relation to her relationship with Jenny.  I want to write her a post of her own. 

Sadly, she only gets this awesome outfit if she has a romance with Jenny.

I am thinking that the coffee I had this morning wasn't enough, even though I'm not sleepy at all.  I'm thinking that I had ambitions for today.  I am wondering if it would be possible to entice Naamah_Darling to make me a Merrill pony.  I mean, she always makes her own characters, I don't know if she'd be willing to make a pony interpretation of someone else's character.  But I found this and now I WANT.

KageTakaiDoragon at Deviant Art

Not this exact pony, because I would want to give her more freedom than that.  I'd want to show her lots and lots of images of Merrill and describe Merrill's personality and history and everything and let Naamah Darling interepet how to translate that into pony.

I am thinking about ways to extricate myself from Bacon Sushi Guy, who sent me a text on Saturday, expressing disappointment that he couldn't make it to breakfast to show me his finished hat.  I am thinking about the way my experience with authority affects how I interact with video games.  The police always let me go with a verbal warning.  I follow rules, and expect to be rewarded for it. 

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