Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Nope. Not that easy. (ETA)

I gave Bacon Sushi Guy one more shot, and there's still no spark.  I could dissect my lack of interest, but there isn't much point.  I don't really want to spend a blog post detailing minor flaws of a perfectly nice person who I just don't have FEELINGS for.  If I had the feelings, I wouldn't be bothered by anything, but since I don't have them, I just feel sort of annoyed.

This realization happened just before I started packing and moving, and so my plan was to do a fade for a few days, taking time between responses and not volunteering much, and then let him know that I wasn't interested in pursuing a physical relationship.  Which I can honestly frame in the context of my not wanting a FWB situation.  But once I started packing I didn't have the energy to deal with anything, and I had absolutely no desire to talk to him for the sake of making him feel better.  I packed and cleaned and moved and played Dragon Age and that was it.

I was kind of hoping that maybe the waning interest was mutual.  After all, he might have asked to see me after Knitter's Breakfast, but he just left.  And it would be so much easier if he just wasn't that into me, either.  And after a few weeks of silence, he might get into the habit of not talking to me, and he might have found something else new and shiny and not really notice me anymore.  Maybe if I just ignore it, the problem will go away on its own.

Except he still texts me every once and a while, to see how things are going.  He knows that I've been super busy.  And there's an email in my inbox from OK Cupid that tells me I have a message from him, and it starts out  Howdy, stranger!  I hope your move went well.  I find myself missing our little chats here and... So I can't just close my eyes and hope he goes away.  I have to actually, y'know, deal with this.  Which is right and fair since I started it in the first place.  I messaged him.  I said that I was intrigued.  So now I need to tell him that I'm not.

ETA: Realized that, aside from my disinterest in Bacon Sushi Guy, I'm feeling disinterested in dating, in general, right now.  I'm managing my spoons a lot better than I was a few weeks ago, but I still don't want to spend them on dating.  So I said something like that to him, that I was hermiting and closing my account and don't want to date, but he should bring his hat by Home Ec some time. 

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