Wednesday, October 12, 2011

negotiating

Speaking of how I got from there to here.

Almost a year ago, I was approached on OK Cupid by a 19 year old who wanted to improve his oral sex skills, and would I help him practice?  I turned him down, but offered some advice for the future.  Such as: start with women who are interested in casual sex, and try to not sound like you're looking for a second-rate girl to practice on so you can get the first-rate ones.  There was much thanking, and apologizing, and occasionally he shows up on IM to say hi, how's it going. 

Skip forward a bit to a month ago.  September 13th, to be exact.  I am going out of my mind with unfulfilled lust.  And I know, because I've tried, that casual sex doesn't make me happy, but it might get me through the night.  And there's something appealing in the idea of having someone there to do exactly what I want.  And I do want.  All I am is want.  So I message him to say that I might be interested, if he still is.

A week or two passes, and I have written a video essay about online dating.  I have written a fantasy dating montage that shows a multitude of relationship scenes, including a "making out in bed" scene, and I can't think of who I would ask to film it with me.  And I think, Babylingus (as Cassie has named him) makes kind of a perfect choice.  There's no risk in asking, because he's not a friend.  And because he's not a friend, I don't have to see him again.  He's nonthreatening.  He's already expressed interest.  He's already made a crazy proposition, why not match it with one of my own?  I can do him a favor, he can do me a favor.  Quid pro quo.

I proposed.  He dithered.  I explained.  He disappeared.  He came back with conditions.  (The boy has some spunk!)  I refused them.  And now, we are negotiating.

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