I think that most of the people I know are better friends with each other than they are with me, and it makes me sad. It isn't because of them. They like me fine. I think I'm not doing things right. I keep people at a distance. I feel like, I lived so long in such isolation, just me and Mike, that I've forgotten how to do anything else. I thought I'd changed. I go out; I have friends. But I didn't change enough because I'm more honest in this blog than I am in real life. In real life, there is always the shrug and eye-roll, the veneer of nonchalance.