Not now, maybe not ever. But bad things are happening, and I am trying to help, and it matters, much more than things usually matter, and I am terrified of doing something wrong. Because there are rules that I don't know or understand, because there are other people's feelings that I don't know or understand. But the ball is in my court and I am going to kick the shit out of this damn ball. So, I am kicking.
And I lost my wallet. I still don't believe it, it MUST be here, but it isn't.