4:57 pm on a Saturday, waiting.

I sent an email to the competition team captain (who wrote the first email), the merchandise chair (who wrote the second), and the president of the club. It says,

I feel as if I have gotten very confusing information regarding competition attire. When I asked about what kind of shoes I needed to get, I was told that any flesh colored, suede-soled, shoe was acceptable, and I thought that meant that a non-flesh colored shoe was not acceptable. Since I couldn't get flesh-colored shoes in time for Star of the North, I believed that I could not compete as a follow because I would not have the required shoes. On Friday I was told that flesh-colored or tan shoes were recommended, but not required, and that some dancers on the team compete in black or silver or colored shoes. What, specifically, are the team rules? Is "no sparkle/glitter on shoes" a rule or recommendation? I would like to compete as a follow, if possible, but I had been lead to believe that I couldn't. If I am allowed to follow in black or glitter shoes, is it too late to get assigned partners?

This makes me stressed and anxious, because I am Causing Trouble, and that's bad. I should just be quiet and make nice and then everyone will be happy. That thing they teach girls? I have it bad.

And then there is the radio silence from Cassidy, which is what I expected, but still makes me feel lonely and bereft. I keep my phone in my pocket, check it occasionally, but if he wanted to talk, he'd be here. And he's not.