I start to wonder, did that really happen? It seems so surreal. I have a blog entry, so I can't have imagined the whole thing, right?
Suddenly I'm terrified that I somehow made this up. That I will get on the phone, and call my cousin, and call my aunt and uncle, and tell them this horrible story and it will be a strange, incomprehensible, lie. Who would do something like that?
I have the text from my cousin in my phone saying, when did you last talk to your mother and brother? I have the text I sent to Red Flag Guy saying, are you awake? I'd like to call. But it is poor proof against this new fear soaking through.
And how do I know when it's telling someone who has a right to know, and when it's just gossip? Would they want everyone to know? Does it matter if they don't?