How do I know?

I start to wonder, did that really happen?  It seems so surreal.  I have a blog entry, so I can't have imagined the whole thing, right?

Suddenly I'm terrified that I somehow made this up.  That I will get on the phone, and call my cousin, and call my aunt and uncle, and tell them this horrible story and it will be a strange, incomprehensible, lie.  Who would do something like that? 

I have the text from my cousin in my phone saying, when did you last talk to your mother and brother?  I have the text I sent to Red Flag Guy saying, are you awake?  I'd like to call.  But it is poor proof against this new fear soaking through.

And how do I know when it's telling someone who has a right to know, and when it's just gossip?  Would they want everyone to know?  Does it matter if they don't?