I am always convincing myself that he doesn't want me. I think I must enjoy it--I do it so often. I am so good at it.
I think that what I really want is to be The Other Woman, always in flux, never sure of where I stand. I would have a secret. I would be sexy. I would know the face of the woman I was afraid of.
I am, not happiest, but the most content, when life appears the way it does in the movie version of my life that plays, constantly, in my head. I don't need things to be good, I only need them to be right.