The thing to remember is, this blog is a terrible barometer for my life. This blog records only the extremes. I might spend eight hours one day feeling fine, and two hours in abject despair. The two hours get recorded here, the eight hours go unnoticed. Most of the time, I really am okay. It's true that I am not as good as I have been in the past. I am much more fragile, more sensitive and prone to overreacting. I worry, a lot.
I have come to use this blog as a coping mechanism, and my despair, once recorded, becomes just that: a record. It becomes past-tense. I set it down and move on.