Sunday, October 18, 2009

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I don't know what to do. I am not okay. I am very quickly loosing functionality. I can't afford to lose functionality. I have an appointment with my shrink in two weeks, and I can't get in to see her any earlier than that. I was thinking of taking two pills a day until then, but my pills are 300mg each, and the maximum daily dose is 450. I also can't cut them in half; they're extended release.

I can't find any mention of ill effects from combining depo and wellbutrin. I don't even know for sure that it is the depo, but it seems like too strange a coincidence to be something else.

Exercise helps, a little, for a little while. Talking helps, but it takes a lot of effort and I have a hard time handling social situations for long. I feel like I should stop being dependent on other people to be happy. I feel like I should learn to manage by myself, and stop self-medicating with my cell phone. But I spent all of last night going from one person to another, saying please just talk to me for a while I can't be alone, until I fell asleep. I hate doing that. I hate feeling needy and clingy. I hate that I called Dan. I'm not his girlfriend, and the good thing about not having a girlfriend is you don't get your girlfriend calling all the time with her problems. But I'll do it again.

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