I have been getting a nagging, not-good feeling about the latest boy. Not an "unsafe, stay away" vibe, but a "too controlling," "wants too serious, too soon," kind of vibe. He wants to plan, like, seriously, plan, a "first date." And I'm thinking that even the term "first date" is a little presumptuous. He likes how, in a semi-long distance relationship (two hours and a bit away), it makes time spent together more important. I'm thinking about how that's what I don't like about it. I think that's a bad way to start things.
And part of me thinks that I'm just sabotaging myself. Part of me thinks that, between my low self-image and the scarcity of dates, I think that anyone pursuing me is creepy because they're pursuing me. Part of me thinks I'm making too much meaning out of too little data. Part of me thinks I should give him a chance. But part of me doesn't care.
I've done controlling. I don't want anything to do with it. I'd rather err on the side of wishy washy, spineless, and timid, than date someone who will try to control me again.
So, I don't know. I don't know what I'll say. I don't know if I'll send him the photo of the tattoo that I said I would.
ETA: Sent text. Am breaking things off. It's strange, breaking things off with someone I don't actually have a relationship with. Hopefully, it's done.