waiting

Everyone tells me, "don't force it." Everyone tells me to "let it happen naturally." And I get that, I do. Surprise does not work in my favor.

But it's very hard for me to accept. Not just because I'm impatient and I want what I want as soon as I want it. I am, and I do. But more importantly, I don't like "letting things happen." I think that letting things happen is a great way of getting nothing. I go after things because if I don't, I won't have them. I ask people to dance because if I didn't, I would never dance. I don't get asked. I ask people out because they don't ask me. If I want something, I'd better work up the courage to ask for it, because these things don't "just happen" in life, not to me. And maybe these things i get are somehow lesser because they were forced. But I'd rather have these lesser things than wait for an offer that may never come.