2:30pm Monday. one "healthy choice" frozen meal. I have once again won the battle with the vending machine over a pack of Cheetos. I am Cheetos-free.
I am losing weight because I have been socially conditioned to believe that I will be prettier if I do. But knowing the origins of my feelings doesn't change that I have them, and I have given up trying to change how I feel about my body.
What bothers me about this, is that by making this decision for myself, by caving into societal expectations, I am, in my own small way, enforcing those expectations. I am part of the problem. I buy weight-loss products. I am seen eating weight-loss products. I show off my body when I lose weight, and cover it up when I gain. I am contributing to the culture that says that thinner=better, even if I never speak those words. My money and my actions support the industry. I am helping the weight-loss industry make women feel bad about their bodies.
It's a small thing, I know. If I suddenly started to live as the body-positive person I wish I were, women across America wouldn't suddenly jump up and say "You know what? I am beautiful!" But that's what societal pressure is, a million small things that add up over time. I am part of that million, and I wish I weren't.
1 comments:
Ehh...It's a fight every day to stand apart from that. It's hard and limiting. I feel like a vegetarian or vegan but of media. No fashion magazines, because even if they have one fat girl article in them, all of the ads are skinny girls. Also because they feature almost only white people and encourage the ideal of blonde and blue as the standard for beauty. No movies that are full of white people. Try not to watch tv that is only skinny girls. Don't talk to your friends about weight or food. Automatically contradict any comment from anyone about food or weight, even if you secretly agree with them.
Keep magical underwear in your draw, 'cause it thins you out for those outfits that show just too much sausage. Keep it a secret, because you don't want people to know that sometimes, your love handles are just too much.
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